Shinji and Super Smash Bros
by Gundam Kaiser
Summary: Basically, me ripping off ShinjiAndWarhammer40K, only it's a love letter to Nintendo. In his youth, Shinji happens upon a box of childhood fun, and with three... "little" words, the fate of the world is forever changed.
1. Title Scream!

**Shinji and Super Smash Bros.**

_Title Scream_

**Disclaimer: If I owned _Evangelion_, then why on Earth would I write fanfiction about it? And on that note, I don't own _Super Smash Bros._ either. **

**This story was inspired by the legendary fanfic _Shinji and Warhammer40K_, and I decided, why not do one with _Super Smash Bros._?**

**Pairing: Shinji/Asuka. Unless, of course, I change my mind later. But that's what it looks like for the moment.**

**Rating: T **

**Also, I realize that most Japanese probably don't do garage sales – much less post-Second Impact – but just roll with it for me, okay?**

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One Shinji Ikari and his aunt were shopping at a garage sale, looking for some odds and ends when the six year-old boy happened upon a box on the ground that said _'_**GAMES'**. While the child _was_ mildly curious, he hadn't the confidence to ask his aunt if she would buy him anything, and so he decided that he wasn't even going to look inside. That way, he wouldn't have the faintest idea of what he didn't have.

Destiny, however, had other plans. His aunt had noticed him glancing at it with an unfamiliar spark in his eyes. _'Is that… _interest_ in his eyes? Finally, I have a chance to help Shinji-kun get some more normalcy in his life. Children his age _should_ be playing and enjoying games while they still can. Especially in a world as dark as ours.'_

Gently smiling, she asked, "Oh, would you like a game to play, Shinji-kun? Why don't we take a look and see if there's anything you find interesting."

Still unsure, but encouraged and feeling just a bit hopeful, Shinji went over to the box and found that it had a number of plastic cartridges in it, all of them with a picture and label identifying it.

Watching the scene with a kind smile, the young man holding the sale said, "Ah, those are a bunch of video games from before Second Impact. I haven't had time to play them myself, but I checked them all just last week. Even though they're at least fifteen years old now, they still play like new. It's only right that they be passed onto the next generation. As a matter of fact, I'll sell you four games, two controllers, _and_ the system to play 'em for half the commercial price of the system alone."

Pleasantly surprised, Sayoko Ikari replied, "Really? That's quite a bargain. Well, Shinji-kun? Go ahead and pick out four that look interesting to you. Don't worry, you've earned it for being such a well-behaved boy all this time."

However, Shinji didn't have the slightest idea what would be good and what wouldn't. So he asked, "Um, mister, what do you think I should get?"

Pausing for a moment, the vendor eventually knelt and reached into the box, retrieving a few particular cartridges before he replied, "Well, let's see… If you ever want to play with friends, then you should definitely get this one. Oh, and while the industry is only just now getting back into gear after Second Impact, the people who still remember such 'frivolous' things often regard this as one of – if not _the_ – greatest games of all time. Then, this sequel to it is also pretty good. And finally, everybody should try out this series, but I only have the one game for this system. Nevertheless, I'd say these are the four best games for Nintendo64, and while I can't _guarantee_ you'll enjoy them, statistically speaking, the odds are pretty darn high."

Nodding, Shinji accepted the four games, and after the vendor retrieved the console and controllers to go with them, Sayoko purchased a few picture frames, put everything in a box, and proceeded on home. It was the time of year that, before Second Impact, had been summer, meaning that Shinji had a month off from school.

That afternoon, after his uncle helped him set it up, Shinji powered up the Nintendo 64 and picked the first cartridge he saw, which happened to be the game with a multiplayer mode.

Once the opening video began, Shinji was treated to a polygonal room not entirely unlike his own, while a disembodied glove rearranged a few items on a desk to make some sort of play area, before placing a pair of limp action figures on it. Suddenly, the glove gestured three times in quick succession before snapping its fingers, at which point the action figures in question _came to life_.

Eyes widening, Shinji instantly realized that somehow, he had stumbled upon something _epic_. Over the next minute or so, a number of other characters had short introductory sequences, consisting of their name and stage, as the frantic music grew nearer and nearer to its climax. Openly grinning for the first time in years, Shinji was transfixed as four pairs of characters had a quick square-off, followed by four more silhouettes.

As the menu appeared, an extremely loud and enthusiastic voice screamed out the title of the game.

"_**SUUUPERRR SMAAAAAAAASH BROTHERS!"**_

Little did anyone know, that from this point on, the fate of the world had been forever changed.

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**And yes, I was purposefully vague on the other three games Shinji got, as they don't play NEARLY the role that the main one does. Of course, I'm quite certain you can guess what at least _two_ of them are…**


	2. Asuka Strikes!

**Shinji and Super Smash Bros.**

_Asuka Enters the Fray!_

**So, since I had a lot of trouble getting inspired for this thing, I went and did a timeskip straight to when Asuka shows up. Rest assured, though, I promise those first three Angel fights will be covered at some point.**

**Pairing: Shinji/Asuka.**

**Rating: T**

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Curious, Shinji asked, "Hey Misato, where're we flying to again?"

Smiling, the operations director replied, "We're heading to a vessel called _Over the Rainbow_, where you'll be meeting the Second Child, Asuka Langley Sohryu."

Nodding for a moment, Shinji smiled before asking, "So then, mind telling me what she's like? Actually, never mind, I'll just find out on my own. After all, it's more fun that way."

Looking out the window, he continued, "The pilot of Eva Unit-02… I hope we can be friends…"

Turning to his guests, Hikari and Kensuke, Shinji asked, "So then, you two, are you enjoying this little trip so far?"

Kensuke nodded enthusiastically while Hikari asked, "While I _am_ appreciative of this opportunity, I have to admit I'm kind of curious about why you invited _me_ of all people to come with you."

Shrugging, Shinji replied, "It's simple, really. I brought Kensuke along in case I got bored and needed someone to geek out with. As for you, I just felt you might enjoy it. Do I need a reason to do something nice for one of my friends?"

Looking out the window, Hikari replied, "I didn't say that, it's just that you get along quite well with pretty much everyone in the class – heck, even Ayanami comes a little bit out of her shell with you around. So again, why me in particular? After all, someone who doesn't know us might mistake us for… you know…"

A bit more perceptive than usual, Shinji supplied, "A couple?"

As Hikari blushed a bit and nodded, Shinji said, "I see. And the idea of being my girlfriend – or mistaken for such – is pretty disturbing, right?"

Blushing even harder, the class rep was about to apologize and try to refute that when Shinji just laughed and waved it off. "Relax, I was just kidding around with that last bit. It's so rare that I manage to get a point on you like that, I can't really pass up an opportunity when it comes along. And don't worry, this isn't a date at all. If I had intended it as such, I'd have made it obvious by saying so."

He then continued, "While I could indeed have invited anyone else along, I felt that it would be wise to bring a girl along to help calm things down if Kensuke and I let our testosterone get the better of us. As for why I picked you out of the girls in class, it's not complicated. There are two kinds of women that I like: the responsible women that can be counted on to do whatever needs done, even if it's a good slap across the face from time to time – and the kind of women who stand a pretty reasonable chance of kicking my butt should violence erupt for whatever reason."

Taking a breath, he continued, "Excluding you, Mana, and Rei, pretty much every girl in our class is either a flirt, a ditz, or otherwise yet similarly not within my realm of interest. Rei's an Eva pilot and is still needed in the highly unlikely event of an Angel attack back in the city. Beyond that, I sort of flipped a coin…. Oh, if you're interested, you were heads. Fitting, I should think, for the class rep."

Trying to get a rise out of her ward, Misato leaned towards Shinji (and deliberately revealed a mild amount of cleavage) as she asked, "So then, where does that leave _me_, eh, Shinji?"

With a completely straight face, the Third Child replied, "You, Misato? You're… a good friend and a cool big sister figure, but I personally wouldn't date you."

Pouting playfully, somehow unaware that Kensuke was drooling a bit while he recorded all of this, Misato asked, "But why _not_, Shiiiiiiiiinji~?"

Merely raising an eyebrow, the boy answered, "Because I'm practically your dad."

"How the hell do you figure?! I'm _twice your age_, not to mention that I'm the one paying the bills!"

Nodding sagely, Shinji countered, "Yes… and yet _you're_ the one with a curfew."

Unable to refute that logic, Misato wisely decided to shut up for a bit.

Trying to wrap her mind around what she had just heard, Hikari asked, "Wait a minute, did I hear that right? Misato, _the adult_, is the one with a curfew? How on Earth did that happen? Shinji, how do _you_ _**enforce**_ that on an adult?"

Shinji replied, "Simple. I threaten her with instant meals. Now that she's gotten spoiled on my half-decent cooking, that's actually a lot more effective than it might at first sound."

Turning to look out the window to hide his expression, he continued, "As for how it came about, Mi-"

At this point, Misato playfully slapped Shinji across the back of his noggin, saying, "Shut yer yap!"

At this point, the helicopter came in for a landing.

Disembarking from the heli, the group of four made their way out onto the deck; Kensuke recording on his camera in overdrive to catch everything military-related he could see, and Hikari was in awe at the beauty of the ocean and sky around them. Because it was like a wind tunnel on the deck, however, she had to fight to keep her skirt down.

Noticing that, Shinji said, "Sorry about that, if I'd remembered we were going to a ship I'd have advised you to bring shorts or something."

Hikari replied, "Ah, it's all right. We all forget things from time to time."

At this point, they noticed Misato talking to a girl about Shinji's age. The operations director said, "Well if it isn't Asuka. My, you've grown, haven't you?"

With a predatory smirk, the redheaded teenager happily replied, "Not just in height, my figure's filled out as well."

Wearing a black sundress, Asuka drew her hand across her chest, drawing attention to her impressive (for her age) bust. Suddenly, a particularly strong blast of wind raged across the deck, which sent Asuka's skirt high into the air, revealing…

…

A pair of black shorts that were tight and short enough to easily draw a man's interest, but also covered enough to preserve her modesty. _'Plus three points to common sense'_, Shinji thought.

Turning to look at the other teenagers with an expression of disinterest, she asked, "So then, which of you boys is the Third Child?"

Stepping forward, Shinji smiled confidently and said, "I am the Third Child, though I don't really like being called that. My name's Shinji Ikari. And therefore _you_ must be my fellow pilot, Asuka Langley Sohryu."

With this, he extended his hand in the Western gesture of friendship, the handshake. Raising an eyebrow, Asuka seemed to be mildly amused for a few seconds, before she eventually took the handshake. Though she didn't show it, Asuka was pleased to find that the Japanese boy's grip was firm, and his forward demeanor also impressed her.

Her expression the picture of indifference, Asuka released his hand as she replied, "I see. Good to know that you can recognize a superior pilot when you see one."

Eyes narrowing slightly, but pleasant expression otherwise unchanged, Shinji replied, "I don't think it's fair to say that you're better, nor will I concede your superiority. Doesn't mean I can't be respectful out of habit."

Stretching her muscles and leaning back a bit – inadvertently lending a little _bounce_ to her 'friends' – Asuka thought for a moment before she said, "Interesting. However, you _must_ know that my Unit-02 is the finished version and that _your_ Eva is merely the test type – an _incomplete product_. Furthermore, I have a decade of training under my belt, whereas you have a month or two at most. I have more experience and I have a more powerful unit. Logically speaking, I'm therefore _a superior pilot_."

Shinji ignored the fanservice and instead focused on the conversation. "Were the world that simple, you may indeed have been right. However, it's much the same as a fighting game in reality. Someone using a high-tier character can completely get his butt kicked by someone with a low-tier character if they're just that much better at it. Similarly, a soldier with a machine gun, if incompetent, can totally get whupped by someone using a knife if the second dude knows what they're doing."

Light-heartedly scoffing, Asuka asked, "I take it you have an example in mind, Third?"

"Naturally. Let's use the original _Super Smash Bros._, for instance. Player A – let's call him Junpei – is using Pikachu, generally agreed to be the highest-tiered character in that game. Player B, who wants to shut Junpei the hell up – let's call him Minato – selects Samus Aran, generally agreed to be the lowest-tiered character in that game. And then Samus promptly stomps the hell out of Pikachu without losing one stock or even taking one percent of damage. This is because Minato, even with a so-called 'weaker' character, had vastly greater skill, experience, and knowledge of the game. Similarly, just because you have a superior Eva does not by itself make you a superior pilot."

Pausing almost a full minute as she took note of Shinji's loving attention to detail, Asuka pondered what had been said thus far and then replied: "I'll concede your example as valid, if rather long-winded. Of course, a high-tier character in the hands of a skilled player – Pikachu in the hands of Minato, using your own example – would be invincible, having both the best character and the most skill behind it."

Introducing his palm to his face, Shinji dryly said, "Do me a favor, Asuka. Never, _ever_ use the word 'invincible', especially in reference to human beings. There will always be off days when we make mistakes and can't concentrate and we consequently get our butts kicked. Of course, there will always be days like that for the other guy, too. As for the matter of you being a better pilot, don't you think we should hold off on judging that until we have a chance to directly compare our skills?"

A small smile on her face, Asuka said, "I must say, _Ikari_, you've gotten me… a little interested."

Asuka then turned, intending to speak again with Misato and ask about who the other two were… only to find that they had long vanished somewhere in the middle of the Second and Third's conversation. Her left eye twitching, Asuka turned back to Shinji and glared at him, though not with malice.

Shrugging, Shinji could only defend himself by saying, "Can't help myself. Whenever the subject becomes one of interest, I get talkative."

Asuka rolled her eyes and him and dryly said, "_Is that so?_ I hadn't noticed. C'mon boy wonder, let's try and catch up with the others."

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Eventually, the duo found the rest of the group in the mess hall, preparing for a quick meal. Kensuke, Misato, Hikari, and…

"Kaji."

Asuka spoke the name with little trace of emotion.

With a pleasant – and if Shinji wasn't mistaken, _relieved_ – smile, the aforementioned man with atrocious shaving skills replied, "Asuka."

Also seated at the table were the rest of Shinji's group – directly across from Kaji sat a severely irritated Misato, with Kensuke next to her and Hikari on the other of Shinji's fellow fanboy.

As meal arrangements were made, Asuka took the seat furthest from Kaji, leaving Shinji between the two. Absently wondering what was going on with the snarky redhead and the James Bond knockoff, Shinji took his seat as Kaji began to speak.

"So you're the infamous Third Child, eh? I must say, it's an honor to meet you."

Raising an eyebrow, Shinji replied, "Thanks, I guess. Although it's really not that important to me. The whole 'being an Eva pilot' thing, I mean. Of course saving the world is important, I just don't like people making a big deal out of it."

Chuckling, Kaji said, "Well, regardless of what you want, you are _indeed_ a big deal. A boy who, without any prior training, managed to achieve a sync rate of nearly fifty percent in his first battle and then proceeded to use Eva in ways that the scientists who built it had never imagined possible."

While Asuka's eye was twitching, Shinji turned a little red and replied, "Your version makes it sound so impressive, when all I really did was start acting like it was a fighting game – and in that last fight, I was amped up on a massive sugar high."

A bead of sweat dripping down the back of everyone else's heads, the gathered people thought in unison, _'Well THAT explains it.'_

"I even hear you're living with Katsuragi now. So tell me, Shinji. Is she still so…"

Here, Kaji grinned and wiggled his eyebrows as he asked, "Wild in bed?"

In an instant, Kensuke had out his video camera, Hikari and Asuka were outraged at not only the impropriety of the question but also the blatant manner in which it had been asked, and Misato had pounded her fist on the table, screaming, "I DON'T THINK THAT KIND OF TOPIC IS APPROPRIATE FOR CHILDREN TO DISCUSS, JACKASS!"

Shinji, however, had a blank look on his face for a full five seconds before he tilted his head to the side as he said, "Um… I'm… not sure what you mean."

Had they been able to see inside his head, everyone would've observed that he had a mental image of Misato wearing a red necktie (in addition to her normal attire) with the letters MK on it as she stood on a four-poster bed, throwing gigantic barrels of bananas at random passerby while screaming like a maniac.

Even though the people around Shinji could _not_ see into his mind, however, they nevertheless fell out of their chairs from the sheer inability of his to pick up on any sort of innuendo.

Kaji nevertheless chose that rather awkward moment to make his escape by saying, "Well, I'll just be off now."

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Shinji and his comrades were going up an escalator to the deck, when suddenly Asuka appeared at the top of it, looking down on him. While her glare had a slight edge to it, there was no malice or hatred. No, it was more like… she felt as if she had a score to settle.

"You're coming with _me_, Third Child."

Shrugging a bit, Shinji merely replied, "Sure, but didn't I ask you not to call me that?"

The next thing he knew, Shinji was standing with Asuka before Evangelion Unit-02.

"I see it's red. So tell me Asuka, does it go three times faster?"

Midly irritated with her fellow pilot's notable lack of awe, she nevertheless snorted in amusement at the joke as she replied, "Well with _me_ in the Entry Plug, there's no reason that it can't. Of course, the color scheme isn't _all_ that's different! Units 00 and 01 were the prototype and test type respectively – that Unit-01 synced with an untrained pilot is proof of that!"

However, Shinji then asked, "Okay, I suppose you may have a point there. On the other hand, don't I get bonus points for creativity in how I tend to use Unit-01, if only for that last battle?"

Pausing a second, Asuka asked, "The one where you said you were on a sugar high?"

Nodding, Shinji said, "That'd be the one."

"I haven't seen any of the footage. But from what I heard about that one, you don't get points for anything aside from insanity, sugar high or no."

Snapping his fingers, Shinji let out a soft, "Oh, darn."

Having been interacting with him for a while, Asuka thought to herself, _'This guy's a total weirdo. … It's sort of a cute weird, though.'_

Just as she finished that thought, however, an underwater shockwave caused the vessel to rock from side to side.

And upon discovering that it was an Angel, Asuka donned a predatory smirk that Shinji found entrancing and intimidating at the same time.

A few minutes later, he was climbing into his plugsuit and standing behind Asuka in Unit-02's entry plug.

As had happened before his previous battles in an Evangelion, Shinji heard a deep voice rumble in his head.

**CHOOSE YOUR CHARACTER!**

Unlike those times, however, Shinji visualised a pause button and pushed it, before asking, "Are we even authorized for this?"

With an unladylike snort, Asuka boasted, "We'll get authorization after the fact!"

The boy nodded. "Fair enough. Now then, the way I see it, we have limited power, we're over here, it's way over there, and Unit-02 doesn't have the equipment for underwater combat. So, what's the plan?"

Asuka grinned like a shark. "Just sit back and _watch_, Ikari!"

With that, Unit-02 leapt off of the vessel and onto a nearby one, its tarp now being worn in the fashion of a cape.

Using the massive machine's momentum, Asuka commanded the scarlet weapon to continue on its way to another ship, and another, and another, until it reached the vessel with the power cord, and with several seconds to spare.

Plugging the red war machine in, Asuka watched with satisfaction as the dwindling timer came to a halt now that they'd switched from battery power.

Shinji smiled and absently said, "Not bad, Asuka, not bad at all. For future reference, though, consider a scarf instead of a cape; they're just as cool-looking – if not moreso – and yet more practical."

Raising an eyebrow at the Third Child in amusement, she muttered, "Eh, why the hell not?"

At that time, the old guy on the bridge started ordering them through the radio to shut the Eva off, until Misato interrupted him and asked, "Is that Asuka or Shinji in there?!"

"Both of us, Misato!"

The Operations Director grinned like Christmas had come eleven months early. "In that case, give 'im hell you two!"

At that moment, the Sixth Angel – later to be codenamed as Gaghiel – burst from the sea and lunged at Unit-02. The scarlet Evangelion wasted no time in grabbing it. However, instead of holding it in place to be more easily killed, Unit-02 swung the Angel around before flinging it in the opposite direction.

As the massive fishlike abomination crashed into the ocean, Asuka bellowed, "What the hell was that, Ikari?! I had that little shit right I wanted it, and you threw it way over there!"

Grimacing, Shinji hurriedly attempted to placate her. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, it's an instinctive reflex!"

Asuka glared at him, though she was now more annoyed than truly _angry_ at him. "An… instinctive reflex, you say."

Shinji nodded. "Yeah. I pretty much never consciously grapple with someone unless I intend on throwing them immediately afterward. I know it's weird, and I'm sorry."

Checking one of the readouts on the entry plug's HUD, Asuka muttered, "Well that so-called 'reflex' of yours was powerful enough to completely override the stronger sync I've got with the Eva and spike the ratio to almost a hundred percent. Which is impressive, given our current sync rate is a measly fifteen percent."

Shinji lightly pounded his open palm with his fist, as if something had just occurred to him. "Oh, that makes sense! Because we're both in here and Unit-02 has to sync with the two of us, the ratio is a lot lower than it'd be if it were just one of us."

Then he grimaced as another thought occurred to him, and he disdainfully muttered, "Like a couple of five-year-olds fighting over the controller. Except their hands are _glued_ to said controller, because I don't really see either of us jumping out of the plug to boost the sync rate."

With a very determined expression, Shinji said, "Joystick or action buttons! Pick one and I'll take the other!"

"What the _hell_ are you talking about, Third?!"

Then, with a pleading look at the communications screen, Asuka demanded, "What the hell is he _talking_ about?!"

With an exasperated sigh, Misato explained, "He lapses into game-related terms and analogies from time to time. I _think_ he's suggesting that you pick one set of limbs – the arms or the legs – and focus on just controlling those, and then he'll focus on just controlling the other set. That right, Shinji?"

The Third Child nodded. "If you take the legs, then I'll do everything I can to make sure we come out of this alive!"

Sparing a glance at Shinji over her shoulder, Asuka regarded him for a moment before asking, in an almost tender voice, "So what you're trying to tell me, Third, is that I can trust you?"

The very picture of sincerity and seriousness, Shinji nodded and replied, "If you can trust me even half as much as I trust you, Asuka, then that Angel is as good as beaten already."

Blushing a little, the Second Child quickly looked away and muttered, "J-just who the hell do you think you _are_, spouting corny stuff like that with such a straight face?! And we've only met today anyway, so where do you get off being so naïvely trusting and crap?!"

Placing a hand on her shoulder, Shinji calmly said, "I've known you ever since this morning. So yeah, I'll trust you with my life. Will you trust me with yours?"

Her face nearly as red as her plug suit, Asuka stammered for a few seconds, before yelling, "You… you IDIOT! Yeah, fine, whatever, you keep us out of the water so I can kill that thing next time it makes a pass!"

Shinji nodded, and then focused really, _really_ hard on Unit-02's arms while ignoring everything above the waist. Asuka nearly panicked as it almost felt like she'd lost her own arms, and fought against her natural impulse to regain control, instead choosing to focus on maintaining the Eva's footing.

Unit-02's sync rate promptly shot up to 30 percent. It wasn't ideal, as the two minds weren't really in sync with each other; however, they weren't _contradicting_ each other either, which just about canceled out the earlier negative impact each had on the other.

It wasn't quite as good as Asuka's solo score had been, but it was close.

Misato yelled, "The Angel's making another pass – get ready, you two!"

As one, the two pilots replied, "Roger!"

Unit-02's feet dug into the ship's bulkhead a bit as the machine braced for impact, while the scarlet war machine held out its arms in preparation to try and catch the monster once more.

Just as before, Gaghiel lunged at Unit-02 from beneath the water, maw gaping wide, intent on biting it in half and taking the Evangelion into the water with it.

Unit-02 managed to catch the Angel by its jaws and prevent them from closing, but Gaghiel's greater speed sent the Evangelion into the water anyway.

Movements impeded and struggling not to get chomped to bits, Asuka started freaking out again. "No, dammit, we're gonna die!"

Asuka was ready to fend off Shinji's scathing remarks about her failing to keep them out of the water, when they never came. Instead, he coolly remarked, "Asuka, I found its weak point. Ready for the attack?"

Distracted, she glanced at the screen and sure enough, there was the Angel's core – the giant red jewel that, if destroyed, would take the Angel with it.

In total disbelief at his nonchalance, Asuka demanded, "And just how do you plan to destroy the core when you're barely managing to keep the damn thing from biting us in half?!"

Taking a deep breath of LCL, Shinji paused for a moment before he began to speak. "At the same time that I let go of its jaws, you're going to swim forward really hard so that we lunge into its throat. From there, breaking the core should pretty much be a non-factor."

While the Children were talking, Gaghiel rammed into the seabed and ground Unit-02 against the continental shelf.

At once awed and irritated by Shinji's unnatural calm, Asuka demanded, "Non-factor? _Non-factor?!_ This is our LIVES we're talking about, you… you _IDIOT_! How can you act so unconcerned about everything?!"

Sighing a bit, but not raising his voice, Shinji replied, "It's that I don't care, I'm just confident. It's just like in pretty much every game and toku _ever_."

Seeing her confusion, he proceeded to explain. "We're the heroes of the secret government agency fighting the aliens intent on exterminating our race, Asuka. Do you honestly expect us to somehow _not_ come out of this on top and in one piece… more or less? I mean, just what kind of scriptwriter would seriously let the _bad guys_ win, am I right?"

Asuka smacked him for that. "Be that as it may in fiction, this is _reality_ - the standard conventions of children's television programming aren't going to save our lives!"

Shinji couldn't help the wry grin that crept onto his face. "I dunno about that. Many of those very same conventions have some basis in reality, after all. Leaving the reality vs. fiction argument aside for the moment, when I give you the signal, I want you to focus every bit of your willpower into the Eva's right hand. You ready?"

Rolling her eyes at her copilot, Asuka muttered, "Sure thing, batshit."

With a tremendous force of will, Unit-02 explosively forced Gaghiel's jaws apart before kicking with its legs, propelling itself into the Angel's mouth and throat. Behind it, Gaghiel's jaws clamped down, severing the electrical cable and returning the Eva to battery power.

Feet skidding along the bottom of the Angel's mouth, Shinji un-hit the pause button in his mind, visualized the _Super Smash Bros. Melee_ character select screen, and chose his character. In that instant, Unit-02's AT Field created an energy scarf around its neck.

**CAPTAIN FALCON!**

Rearing back Unit-02's fist, Shinji bellowed, "NOW ASUKA!"

Praying that her clearly-insane-as-fuck copilot knew what he was doing – for both their sakes – Asuka focused every single bit of her will into Unit-02's reared-back fist and screamed her lungs out. "DIE, YOU SHIT, _DIE!"_

The scarlet Evangelion wreathed its fist in AT Field-created fire shaped like a giant bird of prey and slammed it into the Angel's core as Shinji yelled "**Falcon **_**PUNCH**_**!"**

The Eva's flaming fist met the Angel's soul-housing gem, and the gem shattered into a million pieces of shrapnel. And then the Angel itself exploded, blasting Unit-02 out of the water with so much force that it nearly crashed into the _Over the Rainbow_.

However, it still landed cleanly in the water again, which meant that the assembled naval forces would have to drag the Evangelion back to the surface.

As Unit-02's AT scarf disappeared and the Evangelion began to float a hundred meters or so below the surface, Asuka tried not to let out a sigh of relief.

"Hey, Ikari," she began.

Looking like rather worn-out himself, Shinji looked up and replied, "Yeah?"

She started to say something, then changed her mind two or three times before eventually telling him, "I… I guess you're an okay enough guy. At least as far as crazy people go."

Shinji regarded her for a moment, before he smiled. It was a small, quiet smile, completely at odds with the enthusiastic go-getter from the battle. "Thanks, Asuka. You're my friend too."

* * *

><p><strong>Notes: So… yeah. Now you have an actual idea of just what kind of story this is. Don't worry, I'll cover the three skipped Angel fights later on. Probably by having Asuka or someone else review NERV's security footage.<strong>

**As for why Asuka wasn't fawning over Kaji, well, this Asuka is a combination of series!Asuka and Rebuild!Asuka, so she doesn't have a crush on him.**

**Yes, I realize that this Shinji is not very, well, Shinji-ish. And if anyone came here expecting otherwise, I would be very much surprised.**


	3. A Belated Beginning!

**Shinji and Super Smash Bros.**

**Given the relative frenzy of writing I managed to get done this weekend, I think it's time to announce the current official status of this fic. Which is to say, in just a few little words,**

**BACK! FROM! THE! ****DEAD!**

**So here's chapter three! Now then, I know a lot of you were confused by the timeskip straight to the Sixth Angel last chapter, and rightfully so. The truth is, I wrote everything in that chapter but the fight scene about eight months ago, and I had skipped to Asuka's debut because that's where my inspiration was.**

**However, now that I've gotten into the zone - at least for a while - I feel I've got the drive to try and fill in that seven-episode blank spot. So treat the previous one as an episode-long sneak peek, if you will, and from here on out we will reset to Shinji's arrival in Tokyo-3!**

**This chapter covers Shinji's meeting with Gendo, the fight with the Third Angel, Sachiel, and the aftermath thereof. I'm skipping the bits where Misato picks Shinji up in town and takes him to NERV and where she takes him to her apartment because, well, it would've basically been a pointless rehash of canon with only a few different reactions.**

* * *

><p>"Um, so in a nutshell, Dad, you called me here to get in the giant robot so I could save the world from that giant thing outside, and I'm effectively the only chance the world has?"<p>

Gendo sighed. "Yep."

Shinji gave him a thumbs-up. "No prob."

A few minutes later, before getting in the entry plug, Shinji looked as if something had just occurred to him. Taking his seat in the cockpit, he said, "You know, if you had the resources to build at least one giant robot in preparation for this kind of event, I would've expected you to have a pilot ready."

Gendo coolly replied, "Technically, we _have _a professional pilot. _Two_, in fact. Thing is, one's in Germany because - basically - politics. And our local pilot had a mishap last week, so she's in intensive care now. So... pretty much, yeah, you're our only hope."

Shinji winced in sympathy. Though he'd never had to deal with that kind of issue - namely, politics - personally, he'd seen the situation on TV and in enough games to have a rough idea of how much it sucked. "Well, I'll try not to let you down then."

Gendo paused for a moment, attempting to formulate a response. Eventually, he settled for silently nodding.

Thinking to himself as his son went off to war, Gendo mused, _First meeting in a year... I suppose that could've gone worse._

"Fuyutsuki," Gendo began.

"Yes, Commander?"

"Remind me to get him something nice if he comes back alive."

Fuyutsuki raised an eyebrow, but nodded. "Yes, sir. ... Where are you headed off to?"

Gendo, halfway to the elevator, paused to speak over his shoulder. "I'm thirsty, so I'm getting a drink. Either Shinji will win, or he won't. I don't forsee my presence having an effect either way. Use Rei as a backup if it becomes necessary."

* * *

><p>Shinji had gone out in Unit-01, and the Angel - retroactively codenamed as Sachiel - had promptly broken the Eva's arm and smashed its head open with minimal effort.<p>

And, because of the synchronization process, Shinji himself had felt the same injuries dealt to the machine.

While everyone in NERV was freaking out, Shinji was barely managing to stay conscious. In his vision, however, he saw the Evangelion's badly beaten form splayed out across the street when a voice boomed in his head and a timer appeared to count down across his vision.

**CONTINUE?**

Shinji, never one to give up merely because he'd gotten his butt kicked, answered with a resounding 'YES!' and found himself partially recovered from fatigue.

**CHOOSE YOUR CHARACTER!**

The _Super Smash Bros Melee_ character selection screen appeared in his mind. Taking a moment, Shinji quickly pondered the fight up to that point. "In that case, I guess I'll play this safe for a while, see what's up."

**FALCO!**

Shinji could faintly hear chatter over the comm link from NERV - something about the Eva reactivating and doing stuff with an AT Field - when a handgun made out of energy appeared in the Eva's hands an energy jacket covered its arms and torso, and Shinji felt a weight on his back to indicate something there as well. The Eva's arm and faceplate also repaired themselves.

Shinji ignored the chatter about how whatever was going on shouldn't be possible. The Eva was doing stuff to accomodate Shinji's familiarity with a videogame, and on the one hand, he didn't have the faintest clue as to why. But on the other hand, whatever was happening was to Shinji's advantage, and he'd never really been one to sweat the small stuff anyway.

Taking aim with the blaster, Unit-01 fired a few laser bolts at the Angel, each hit causing it to stumble back a little, before the Angel brought up its AT Field, rendering further assault pointless.

Shinji decided that it was time for a little experimenting, and rushed at the Angel, planning to jump and attack from behind.

The Angel, however, levitated up and grabbed Unit-01's faceplate again, likely planning a repeat of its earlier finishing move.

"Not this time," Shinji muttered. As he activated Falco's Reflector, a powerful blue forcefield covered Unit-01's body and slammed the Angel against the street, sending it skidding for several blocks.

Upon landing, Unit-01 seemd to disappear for an instant, before the Angel spasmed in pain as the Evangelion then reappeared just behind it. "Falco Phantasm, baby."

Taking advantage of Sachiel's momentarily being stunned, Unit-01 turned on its heel and hit the Angel's back a few times before chaining into a flurry of rapid-fire kicks. After several seconds of the relentless barrage, Sachiel once again brought up its AT Field, earning itself a brief reprieve.

The Angel turned around, intent on exacting revenge against the EVA, only to find it hovering in the air and wreathed in a fiery aura.

If Sachiel had the capability to communicate like a human, it would've muttered something along the lines of 'oh crap'.

"**FIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIRE!**"

Shinji screamed, and the burning Eva slammed into the Angel at high speed, causing considerable damage and knocking it back again.

Seeing that his opponent was taking such a beating with minimal apparent problem, Shinji mused, "Well, at least I've more or less got the hang of this now. Naturally, trying for a ring-out probably won't be of much use. If only it had a weakness I could abuse to get this fight over with..."

_"About that..."_

Turning to the picture of Misato in Unit-01's HUD, Shinji asked, "Eh? About what?"

Just a little exasperated, the woman said, _"See that big red shiny thing in the middle of its chest? Ritsuko says that if you break it, the Angel goes kablooey."_

Somewhere offscreen, Ritsuko's eye was twitching at Misato's oversimplification.

Shinji, meanwhile, just nodded. "Break the red shiny object, Angel blows up. Gotcha. Well then, since I can't really get much past its shield this way, I'm gonna have to use a lot more power!"

In his mind, Shinji visualized the action from the perspective of a camera, and paused it, before hitting 'reset'.

**CHOOSE YOUR CHARACTER!**

As Unit-01's AT Field-created equipment vanished, Shinji yelled, "Awesome, I was hoping that would work!"

**GANONDORF!**

Unit-01's AT Field reacted again, this time forming a long cape and encasing the entire body - minus the head - in armor.

Sachiel, which would've been enraged if it had human emotions, got up and rushed at the purple people-eater, assuming that the Angel's own oncoming wrath was the reason for its enemy's lack of movement.

_"Shinji,_" Misato said with some urgency, _"you CAN see that it's heading straight for you... RIGHT?!"_

Shinji, eyes narrowed in concentration, muttered, "Hold on a sec, I need to get the timing right for this or we're screwed."

With that revelation, Unit-01 reared back its fist and the AT Field began charging a massive amount of dark energy around it.

The Angel, apparently oblivious with rage - or whatever it had that passed for rage, at any rate - kept moving forward.

Shinji felt the energy around Unit-01's fist reach its peak, and grinned. "Here we go with a Warlock Punch!"

Sachiel sensed the power of the incoming attack and attempted to dodge, but it was too late; while it protected its Core, the result was that Unit-01 rammed its fist forward at lightning speed and into the Angel's face.

The impact force was so great that not only did Sachiel get knocked back out of the city _entirely_, but the punch created a pressure wave that broke all the windows in every building for a radius of two blocks.

Deciding that the battle had gone on long enough, Shinji pondered his next course of action. On the one hand, he was tempted to try and 'reset' again to use a faster character so he could quickly run up to his opponent, then 'reset' back to Ganondorf so he could use a powerful attack on the Angel's weak point.

On the other hand, he didn't know if that was a viable option, and he'd always been the kind of gamer to play it safe rather than take unneeded risks. If necessary, he could (hopefully) use Ganondorf's massive power to smash through the Angel's barrier if it came back up, and then destroy the core while it was reeling from the hit.

As the pilot nodded to himself, Unit-01 began to casually walk towards the Angel, which had yet to react after the Warlock Punch.

Thirty seconds after the Angel had still failed to get back up and Unit-01 was still plodding along, Misato bellowed, _"WOULD YOU HURRY UP ALREADY?! THE SUSPENSE IS KILLING ME!"_

Shinji, still paying attention to his foe, didn't glance at the communications window as he replied. "For all we know, it's just playing possum, and rushing in could be a trap. And as big as this thing is, I'll be in range to clobber it again in a minute anyway."

At that time, the Angel began stirring again, and after a moment, it seemed to catch sight of the Evangelion again. Whereupon it immediately began scrambling back in terror, before raising its AT Field as a barrier and attempting to slam Unit-01 away with it.

As Shinji observed the oncoming wall of orange light, Unit-01's fist was encased in dark energy again as it lunged forward and effortlessly crashed through the barrier with an uppercut.

Another AT Field came rushing at the Eva, and it paused for a moment to build strength, before shattering that one with an elbow strike.

Observing that they seemed to be getting weaker as the Angel's panic increased, Shinji didn't bother charging up Unit-01's attacks from that point, deigning merely to rip through Sachiel's AT Fields with what was becoming casual ease.

"And to think, most bosses get _harder_ to defeat as you wear them down," Shinji mused.

The Angel then apparently decided that discretion was the better part of valor, and attempted to levitate beyond the implacable death machine's reach.

Keyword being 'attempted', as Unit-01 leapt into the air, rushed forward, and with a dark energy-encased fist, knocked the Angel back into the mountainside with terriffic force.

"Now then, I think it's about time we end this."

Unit-01 then did a front-flip and covered it's entire body with dark energy created by the AT Field, before destroying the Angel's core with a powerful flying kick.

_"RIDER KICK!"_

Misato irritably snapped, _"Care to repeat that, Lt. Hyuga?"_

_"No ma'am,"_ came the sheepish reply.

As the core was crushed into tiny little bits, the Angel exploded into a massive cross-shaped pillar of light. Unit-01 was mostly unharmed, although its AT Field-created armor and cape were blown away in the blast.

Despite minimal obvious damage, however, Unit-01 shakily fell to its knees before falling on its face.

* * *

><p>The officers at NERV HQ were in a panic. First, their new pilot, Shinji, got his butt kicked by the Angel. Then he somehow used the AT Field to do things that should have been impossible - Ritsuko was <em>very<em> insistent that, in her own words, "THE AT FIELD DOES **NOT** WORK THAT WAY!"

However, they'd been willing to overlook that for the moment, since it meant the Angel was being completely and utterly demolished.

Now that the Angel had been finished off, though, Unit-01 had collapsed just moments after its victory, and Shinji wasn't responding.

After thirty seconds of the bridge staff - sans Fuyutsuki, who was shocked at how quickly they had abandoned their professionalism - running around like headless chickens, Gendo stepped off the elevator and back to the order room. Raising an eyebrow at his staff, he checked the monitors, and quickly discerned the two most important factors in the situation: first, the Angel was nowhere to be seen, and second, Unit-01 was laying on its face.

After watching amusedly for a few seconds, Gendo's nonchalant voice cut through the panic like a knife. "Lt. Ibuki, check the pilot's vital signs."

The observed presence of NERV's Commander was like a bucket of cold water, instantly snapping everyone back to their senses.

A few seconds later, Maya was both audibly relieved, embarassed, and a bit disbelieving when she gave the status report. "The pilot's vitals are all more or less normal. He's... fallen asleep, probably from fatigue. The life support system can't detect any physical or mental damage."

Gendo nodded. "To summarise, then, the Angel has been dealt with, the city is still intact, and we have a reliable pilot to deal with future crises."

Then, turning to Fuyutsuki, he casually asked, "So, professor... what did I miss?"

* * *

><p>The next morning, Shinji woke up in a hospital bed.<p>

After pinching himself for assurance that he wasn't dead, Shinji sat up and stretched his arms.

Upon checking his body for damage, Shinji muttered, "Not too bad, for being in the hospital."

At that moment, Shinji's cellphone rang from inside his bag.

_Flyyyy me to the moon, and let me play among the stars..._

"Hello?"

_"I see you survived, Shinji. ... Good work."_

Despite the steps taken toward repairing their relationship since that day three years ago, Shinji was still a bit surprised to hear praise from his father.

"Thanks. ... Wait a sec, does that mean you were expecting me to die?"

_"On the contrary, I expected you to survive. Once the Angel's capabilities had been observed, I believed you to have a 70 percent chance of victory."_

"Cool... I think."

_"You're welcome. We can discuss business - such as your living arrangements, and NERV protocol - later on. ... For the time being, just focus on getting better. If you're up to walking around, then feel free do so. If there are any problems or concerns, check the note on the table and call any of the numbers provided."_

With that, Gendo hung up.

Shinji took that moment to genuinely observe the room around him, and the first thing he observed was a pair of pants laid out for him. Immediately leaping into them, he felt much comfortable afterward.

Next, he pocketed his phone from the table, and also the note with several numbers on it. Shinji was still a little groggy, but all in all he wasn't in poor enough shape to stay in bed.

Besides, _any_ gamer knows to begin exploring a new locale as soon as you enter it.

Several minutes later - while Shinji was looking out the corridor window to check out the awesome artificial forest outside the NERV pyramid - a pair of medics came by with a heavily-bandaged girl on a stretcher.

Curious on account of her red visible eye and blue hair, Shinji considered asking who she was, but figured that doing so right then would be in poor taste; either he'd probably come across as rude for asking the medics about her like she wasn't there, or the girl would think he was coming onto her or something if he introduced himself so completely out of the blue like that.

He then recalled that he had a phone, a paper, a list of numbers, and the guts to use 'em.

Dialling the number for one Kozo Fuyutsuki - because he suspected that Misato would tease him and that Ritsuko would be busy - he waited until an old-sounding man picked up.

_"Hello?"_

"Yeah, I was told to direct any questions I have to you. Namely, I'm curious about the hospitalised girl with blue hair and red eyes, who looks about my age. My in-depth knowledge of gaming, mecha anime, and tokusatsu shows tells me that she must be important somehow."

There was a sound not unlike that of someone smashing one's own face against their desk, and then Fuyutsuki replied. _"That would be Rei Ayanami, pilot of the prototype Evangelion Unit-00. It went berserk during an activation test not long ago, hence why she wasn't able to sortie in the last battle."_

Shinji nodded, inwardly pleased that his knowledge of fiction had once again served him well. It was nice to guess something correctly now and then, after all.

"I see. Thanks for the info. She looked pretty glum, maybe I'll go see if I can cheer her up. Pilot to pilot, comrade to comrade. What's her room number?"

Fuyutsuki, surprised at how simple the Third Child seemed to be acting, simply gave him the information. _"One last thing, Pilot Ikari."_

"I'm listening."

_"In the future, please direct all queries of this nature to the Operations Director, Misato Katsuragi. She's our de facto PR and... question-answering... person."_

The old man then hung up.

"Huh. Well, if I'm going to try and cheer someone up, I'm going to need some ammunition. First, to get my bag..."

* * *

><p>Bag in tow, Shinji knocked on the door to Rei Ayanami's room.<p>

After five seconds of no response, he knocked again.

Five seconds after that, he got a little bored and started knocking to the tune of Zelda's Lullaby from _Ocarina of Time_.

Just before Shinji could go through it again, the occupant raised her voice enough to grant him entry.

Doing so, the Unit-01 pilot quitely strode into the room. Taking a seat at her bedside, he introduced himself. Holding out a hand, he said, "I'm Shinji Ikari, the pilot of Unit-01. It's nice to properly meet you, miss Ayanami. I hope you get better soon."

If she were aware of the word's existence, Rei might have said she was flummoxed.

"Why?" she asked him.

"Why? Why what?"

"Why do you wish me well, and why are you concerned with someone you have just met?"

Raising an eyebrow, Shinji proceeded to explain as if it were the most natural thing in the world.

"Well, when people see other people hurt or in pain, they wish that person a speedy recovery. And since we're going to be working together, I thought we might have a chance to get to know each other and become friends. Y'know?"

"If you say so."

Shinji and Rei examined each other for a moment, until the young man spoke first. "Rei - can I call you Rei?"

"Call me what you will."

"Well, Rei, correct me if I'm wrong, but you seem to be very... bored."

Rei tilted her head slightly to the left. "Bored?"

"Yeah, bored. Y'know... glum, depressed, listless, melancholic. Bored."

After several seconds with a lack of response, Shinji asked, "What kind of stuff do you do for fun?"

"I have never done anything for the sole purpose of my amusement."

Shinji was alarmed. "Rei, that sounds very... unhealthy."

Rei was surprised to hear this. Eyes imperceptibly narrowing, Rei considered this new information carefully. If her health had in some way been compromised, then whatever suggestions Shinji had might aid in her recovery. Indeed, this stealthy illness that Pilot Ikari had recognized... it may be related to her inability to properly synchronize with Evangelion Unit-00.

Of course, there was also the possibility that the young man before her was in some way misinforming her... but this boy was Gendo Ikari's own son, after all. Certainly she could trust him, since Rei had not been informed otherwise. The Commander had always been honest and forthcoming with her; surely his son would be no different. Though she did not understand people in general, Rei presumed that the saying 'like father, like son' would apply here.

Having concluded her deliberation, Rei asked, "For improved health, then, what would you suggest I do?"

Shinji's brow furrowed as he began to ponder just that. "Well, I've got some games you might be interested in. You know, to help pass the time while you're in here. Of course, if you've never done anything like this before, then we don't know what your taste is, so I suppose this will be an experi-"

_Flyyyy me to the moon, and let me play among the stars..._

Shinji opened his phone. "Shinji Ikari speaking. May I ask who's calling?"

_"It's me, Misato! I'm sure you remember me, right?"_

Shinji could recognize most people on sight, but wasn't terribly good with names. "Eh... remind me, please?"

_"Drove you to NERV from the station, most awesome chest you've ever seen..."_

"Chest? You didn't have a treasure box."

Misato briefly considered explaining to him that she'd been referring to her breasts, but ultimately decided to just move the conversation forward. _"ANYWAY, it's been agreed that you're going to be living with me."_

Shinji didn't have a problem with being assigned a guardian from the NERV staff. Indeed, he was relieved to know that there would be an adult looking out for him. But the idea that _Misato_ - who seemed less reliable than he would've liked based upon his first impression - was going to be that guardian, well... it made Shinji a bit nervous.

_Ah well, I'll give her the benefit of the doubt._

"Okay, I guess we'll give that a shot."

_"I just need you to drop by the main office so I can sign you out, mmkay?"_

Glancing at the bluenette waiting patiently for his advice, Shinji replied, "A few minutes for me to wrap things up here, and I'll find my way down."

With that, Shinji hung up on Misato before proceeding to rummage around in his bag. "Sorry to cut this short, Rei, but here's some stuff you might try out until I have a chance to visit again... ah, here we go. And here-" he put a strip of paper on her bedside table "- is my cell number if you have any questions. Later!"

As Shinji briskly strode out the door, Rei examined the handful of cartridges he'd tossed into her lap. The games before her were _MOTHER 1+2_ and _MOTHER 3_, _Fire Emblem: The Binding Blade_, _Golden Sun_, and _Golden Sun: The Lost Age_.

Ignoring them for the moment, she examined the handheld gaming system. There was already a game cartridge in it, so Rei decided she'd try it out first, and powered on the handheld without seeing what the game was.

The logo of a company called Game Freak flashed onscreen for a second, until a yellow mouselike creature ran up from the background and into the foreground, interspersed with brief sequences in which it attacked a flying kick, showed great skill in using a surfboard, and flew with ballons tied around its waist.

After the creature unleashed a burst of electricity, the game moved to the title screen: _Pokémon Yellow Version._

As Rei stared at the yellow mouse on the screen for a moment, it very cutely stared back at her, accompanied by awesome music blaring out of the speakers.

A single thought entered her mind, which she unknowingly spoke aloud in her signature monotone.

"It's adorable."

* * *

><p><strong>Turns out that Pikachu's sheer cuteness, even on Rei, is... *puts on orange sunglasses* ...<strong>_**super effective**_**.**

**Anyway, one of the omakes below may or may not make sense, depending on whether or not the reader is familiar with **_**Fate/stay night**_**...**

**OMAKE**

Shinji and Rei examined each other for a moment, until the young man spoke first. "Rei - can I call you Rei?"

"So long as it isn't 'Jack the Reipper', I couldn't give less of a damn what you call me if I _tried_."

* * *

><p>Shinji and Rei examined each other for a moment, until the young man spoke first. "Rei - can I call you Rei?"<p>

"Call me Rei or Ayanami, that's fine. But call me Aya and I'll have to strangle you."

* * *

><p>Shinji and Rei examined each other for a moment, until the young man spoke first. "Rei - can I call you Rei?"<p>

"You will address me as Rei Ayanami II, bride of King Gilgamesh, _mongrel_. Anything less and I shall throw you bodily into my lord's treasury."

* * *

><p>Shinji and Rei examined each other for a moment, until the young man spoke first. "Rei - can I call you Rei?"<p>

"Ask me that question one more time and Unit-00 gets a Shinji-flavored milkshake."


End file.
